Plank

What do you do if you have a member of staff you want to get rid of, but you want to bypass all the rights employees inconveniently have these days?

They haven't done anything wrong. Quite the reverse - they're one of your most effective, loyal, honest, hard-working and respected employees. They have, unfortunately, committed the serious disciplinary offence of treating traders and staff like human beings. How can you get shot of them without stirring up a load of legal trouble ending up in you losing an industrial tribunal case?

Make their life a misery, of course. If they need the job badly enough, like if they have a wife and children and the usual financial commitments to support, they'll stick it out. Kick them out of the job you employed them to do and stick them somewhere out of sight. Slap a gagging order on them - hell, why not extend it to their wife too? Give them the crappiest jobs and treat them like scum. For the sake of their family they'll tough it out for a while, but, if you make their life grim enough, in the end they'll quit. Problem solved.

I've just seen an anonymous comment on Whistler's blog:-

The message came straight from the horses mouth on Saturday (the horse being John Burton when he visited the Market)
"Ben will not be returning to Greenwich Market"
so that ends any speculation.

Well done GSM. Part one of your plan has worked. How long before part two kicks in and Ben steps off the plank?

Oh Brother

Is it just me, or is the sudden appearance of Barmy's brother a bit weird. I'm not talking about his looks, clearly the Crockford's midwife didn't have enough ugly dust for more that one application. No, it's the rather odd fact that nobody's ever seen this bloke before - then Ben gets shifted sideways and <<poof>> here's Guy. Magic.

I feel rather sorry for him really, one minute he's chucking another prawn on the barbie and the next he's up to his eyeballs in wallaby droppings. Time will tell if he's been gifted with enough of the family's sandwiches to make up a full picnic.

Gagging for it

Why don't the market porters talk to anyone any more? Why won't Ben talk about his treatment at the hands of GSM?

They've all been gagged. Every one of them has been ordered by their superiors (I use the term loosely) not to talk to traders about anything more controversial than the weather. If you try to have a chat with any of GSM's staff and Barmy heaves into view they clam up tighter than a barnacle's sphincter.

What are GSM so afraid of?